I drove down to Dahlgren, VA two weeks ago for a series of meetings. I tried to blog about it that night, but, I was having issues with the internet. Dahlgren is a NAVSEA Weapons Testing Laboratory about an hour and a half south
of DC, and by golly I made it to the base with twenty minutes to spare before the meeting started. AND, I only had to call
Dan for directions once. It is also notable that I made it there at all, as I had only had my car for less than a week at that point, and had been driving a stick mildly successfully for just a handful of days.
I started driving around the base, searching for my building. The base is huge, and largely deserted. Also, most roads on the base are not on the visitor map I printed before leaving work the night before. I pass an airstrip on the right, not quite perpendicular to the road. The end of the runway is 15, maybe 20 feet from where I am. There's a sign right before I pass that says "WHEN LIGHTS FLASHING, DO NOT ENTER. LOW FLYING AIRCRAFT." I drove really quickly past the runway, like I do over railroad tracks, just in case. Would getting hit by an airplane be covered under the comprehensive or collision sections of my insurance policy?
After getting lost, and pulling some u-turns, and irritating some people who clearly knew where they were going, I found the road I needed to be on. Only problem was the sign saying "ROAD CLOSED WHEN LIGHTS FLASHING FOR WEAPONS TESTING." The lights were flashing.
I thought, "Hmmm....really? That CAN'T be real. Don't they do that out in, say, Utah? Maybe they did it here back in WWII, and besides, this is the only route I know to get to the building. I'm sure if they're really blowing things up that there will be a guard, or gate, or something to stop me." I kept going, ignoring the fact that obviously you're expected to take care of your own damn self here, given that it's your own damn fault if you get hit by an AIRPLANE.
At the next flashing "ROAD CLOSED" sign my self-preservation instinct kicked in, and I turned around. I went back to pulling u-turns, grinding my gears, and looking nervously at my clock as now I only had a few minutes to get to the meeting.
Then I heard the explosion.
Let's just say I'm glad I got the hell outta dodge back there.
So I finally find the building, and the conference room, and settle in for several hours of boredom. One of the meetings I had to sit through was a team's brief on a newly developed weapons system. I was distracted, though, and had trouble focusing on the number of rounds required for given lethality levels by the guy's large-print-and-very-prominently-displayed "WWJD?" lanyard.
Seriously?! What do you tell your kids in the morning? "OK, Jimmy. I know Bobby is a bully, but make sure you turn the other cheek. I'm going to work now to build better weapons so we can KILL MORE TERRORISTS! What's for dinner tonight, honey?"
I don't get to church a whole lot, but I'm pretty sure Jesus was a carpenter....not a combat systems engineer.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Monday, April 16, 2007
Breakup
Long time without posting. I want to blame a sad combination of Google, Safari, and Firefox's refusal to download, but odds are it was my own damn fault, so, never mind.
I broke up with 24 today. We've had a tumultuous courtship at best, and it's just not working for me. I've remained committed and faithful, as I've never missed an episode, but I just can't do it. 24 just keeps yanking at my emotions and pushing every button I have, and it's time to end things. It's not because there's another show in that time slot in my life -- although L&O is on then, and we all know I love me some Law & Order -- but I just needed some time to myself.
In all seriousness, I can't take it anymore. I get stressed out enough by my own daily life sans terrorists, bombs, and CTU, and I don't need some producer making up awfulness to sell to me as "entertainment." Because I don't get entertained, I get anxious, and I worry, and I realized today that watching fake murders and fake torture and fake criminals on fake campaigns to murder as many fake innocent people as possible is not how I want to spend my time.
Not when you can see that happening on the news to real people with real lives and real families who love them and never got a chance to say goodbye.
To everyone affected by today's tragedy....I don't even know what to say. I'm thinking about you.
I broke up with 24 today. We've had a tumultuous courtship at best, and it's just not working for me. I've remained committed and faithful, as I've never missed an episode, but I just can't do it. 24 just keeps yanking at my emotions and pushing every button I have, and it's time to end things. It's not because there's another show in that time slot in my life -- although L&O is on then, and we all know I love me some Law & Order -- but I just needed some time to myself.
In all seriousness, I can't take it anymore. I get stressed out enough by my own daily life sans terrorists, bombs, and CTU, and I don't need some producer making up awfulness to sell to me as "entertainment." Because I don't get entertained, I get anxious, and I worry, and I realized today that watching fake murders and fake torture and fake criminals on fake campaigns to murder as many fake innocent people as possible is not how I want to spend my time.
Not when you can see that happening on the news to real people with real lives and real families who love them and never got a chance to say goodbye.
To everyone affected by today's tragedy....I don't even know what to say. I'm thinking about you.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Hoboes
I've always been a fan of John Hodgeman ("I'm a PC"), but it has just been elevated to a whole new level. He wrote a book! And in that book is a section on hoboes, including SEVEN HUNDRED hobo names.
His website is maybe the greatest thing I've found on the Internet in years. The audio site (him reading ALL 700 names) is hysterical. (yes, I listened to the full hour, and am doing it again as I type). Plus, it turned into an internet-illustration project, and there are hundred of illustrations for all the hoboes now.
If you remain unconvinced, here are a few of my favorites:
#153: Slo-Mo Deuteronomy
#173: McGurk, Who May Be Found by the Card Catalogue
#399: Applebee O'Bennigan McFridays
#443: Hondo "Whatever That Lizard Is That Walks on Water"
#547: Myron Biscuitspear, the Dumpster Archeologist
Areas of my Expertise is definitely next on my reading list. In other news, I'm officially changing my name to "Packrat Red and and [her] Cart o' Sad Crap."
Stand by.
His website is maybe the greatest thing I've found on the Internet in years. The audio site (him reading ALL 700 names) is hysterical. (yes, I listened to the full hour, and am doing it again as I type). Plus, it turned into an internet-illustration project, and there are hundred of illustrations for all the hoboes now.
If you remain unconvinced, here are a few of my favorites:
#153: Slo-Mo Deuteronomy
#173: McGurk, Who May Be Found by the Card Catalogue
#399: Applebee O'Bennigan McFridays
#443: Hondo "Whatever That Lizard Is That Walks on Water"
#547: Myron Biscuitspear, the Dumpster Archeologist
Areas of my Expertise is definitely next on my reading list. In other news, I'm officially changing my name to "Packrat Red and and [her] Cart o' Sad Crap."
Stand by.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
The Nazis had pieces of flair they made the Jews wear...
I'm pretty lame.
So I thought it would be a good idea if maybe once a month signing out a company conference room and showing a movie on the projector would be a good idea. At least, it wouldn't be a BAD idea. We could order pizza, even. And since roughly half the company is about my age, and a lot of them are also new to the area it would be a nice way for the younger, unmarried/childless people to hang out.
We'll ignore the fact that a lot of them aren't people I really want to spend time with. But that's the beauty of watching a movie -- I can pretend to be social without actually having to talk to anyone.
Since this is the first real job for most of us younguns, obviously the most appropriate movie to wach is Office Space. Plus, Skunk Nut hasn't seen it!
So I mentioned the idea to Boss, who thought it was awesome, and promised to go ask HIS boss (Boss^2?) if it would be ok to "misappropriate company equipment to watch R-rated movies." Boss even got excited about having beer, too! I suggested checking ids at the door and not letting anyone over 40 in.
Boss^2 liked the idea. His major concern, however, was what movie we wanted to watch. This is extra funny because he probably embodies the management in Office Space better than anyone else I work for/with. But he generously offered to loan Boss and I a movie to watch if we hadn't picked one out already:
"Well, if you would like to borrow it, I just ordered a video from the Discovery Channel. It's a very interesting documentary on Destroyers."
Props to Boss for saving the situation with, "Uh, well, I think that people would want to get paid if we showed that one."
So I thought it would be a good idea if maybe once a month signing out a company conference room and showing a movie on the projector would be a good idea. At least, it wouldn't be a BAD idea. We could order pizza, even. And since roughly half the company is about my age, and a lot of them are also new to the area it would be a nice way for the younger, unmarried/childless people to hang out.
We'll ignore the fact that a lot of them aren't people I really want to spend time with. But that's the beauty of watching a movie -- I can pretend to be social without actually having to talk to anyone.
Since this is the first real job for most of us younguns, obviously the most appropriate movie to wach is Office Space. Plus, Skunk Nut hasn't seen it!
So I mentioned the idea to Boss, who thought it was awesome, and promised to go ask HIS boss (Boss^2?) if it would be ok to "misappropriate company equipment to watch R-rated movies." Boss even got excited about having beer, too! I suggested checking ids at the door and not letting anyone over 40 in.
Boss^2 liked the idea. His major concern, however, was what movie we wanted to watch. This is extra funny because he probably embodies the management in Office Space better than anyone else I work for/with. But he generously offered to loan Boss and I a movie to watch if we hadn't picked one out already:
"Well, if you would like to borrow it, I just ordered a video from the Discovery Channel. It's a very interesting documentary on Destroyers."
Props to Boss for saving the situation with, "Uh, well, I think that people would want to get paid if we showed that one."
Monday, March 5, 2007
Packaging Issues
When I was in California, I ordered the pirate badge holder from ThinkGeek.
It arrived last week....in a box roughly the size of the one my tiny jewelry chain came in last month. The badge holder was occupying one tiny section of one corner of the enormous, multi-document sized box.
Seriously? I don't remember what the shipping cost for this thing was, but....I'm pretty sure a padded envelope would have sufficed. Regardless, at the end of the day, I still love ThinkGeek and their stuff. I just wish their shipping division would ThinkGeek a little less and ThinkEconomical a little bit more.
The bigger question is: why do I keep getting mailed tiny things in huge boxes? I ordered Quicken2007 from Amazon this weekend....will it arrive in a refrigerator box? Actually, that'd be neat. Then I could build a fort in my living room.
My living room isn't much bigger than a refrigerator box. [I'm exaggerating a bit.]
I miss the days of refrigerator box forts/submarines/spaceships, though. I should turn my whole apartment into a giant box-fort-tribute. I can paint my living room a dull brown, with faint stripes to make it look corrugated, and use crayola markers to draw dials and guages and buttons. And I could stick things in the drywall to approximate levers and steering wheels, etc. That would be pretty neat, except the living room is too well lit to be a TRUE box fort. Back then, it didn't really matter what awesome controls and panels you drew inside, because really, you couldn't see them anyway.
A box fort apartment would be fun. And it would make all the jokes I used to make about living in a cardboard box after graduation a lot funnier.
It arrived last week....in a box roughly the size of the one my tiny jewelry chain came in last month. The badge holder was occupying one tiny section of one corner of the enormous, multi-document sized box.
Seriously? I don't remember what the shipping cost for this thing was, but....I'm pretty sure a padded envelope would have sufficed. Regardless, at the end of the day, I still love ThinkGeek and their stuff. I just wish their shipping division would ThinkGeek a little less and ThinkEconomical a little bit more.
The bigger question is: why do I keep getting mailed tiny things in huge boxes? I ordered Quicken2007 from Amazon this weekend....will it arrive in a refrigerator box? Actually, that'd be neat. Then I could build a fort in my living room.
My living room isn't much bigger than a refrigerator box. [I'm exaggerating a bit.]
I miss the days of refrigerator box forts/submarines/spaceships, though. I should turn my whole apartment into a giant box-fort-tribute. I can paint my living room a dull brown, with faint stripes to make it look corrugated, and use crayola markers to draw dials and guages and buttons. And I could stick things in the drywall to approximate levers and steering wheels, etc. That would be pretty neat, except the living room is too well lit to be a TRUE box fort. Back then, it didn't really matter what awesome controls and panels you drew inside, because really, you couldn't see them anyway.
A box fort apartment would be fun. And it would make all the jokes I used to make about living in a cardboard box after graduation a lot funnier.
Monday, February 19, 2007
crooning raccoons
Jon and I played a version of the Google Snake Game last night. Here are the strings we found that return absolutely no results....until my blog gets linked to something and this page is returned. But: WHY did it take that many weird words to get no results?? And why are there so many websites with just thousands of dictionary words?
Mostly we just thought the search strings were frickin hilarious. Enjoy.
area51 secret tortoise alien yogurt book swingset california beer anchovies mug paint basement bodies saxaphone fuck savings holdings utterance admonishment
freeman fern fez fermentation foley fantastic fabulous fricassee fenestration froude freud feet fart fiji frink falmouth penis
croon raccoon racketeer monsoon sooners husk preparatory hemorrhoid allometric viscoelastic frontier pretense privations libations masturbation dessication
abracadabra boundless cacophony deciduous effervescent futile gargantuan hermetically indigo jerusalem kringle lozenge megan nanotechnology octopus pluralistic quagmire redundancy stalin totalitarianism uppity vulva wombat xylum
Your search - puma olfactory seakeeping reductant recalcitrant rectilinear deliverance twinkie - did not match any documents.
Mostly we just thought the search strings were frickin hilarious. Enjoy.
area51 secret tortoise alien yogurt book swingset california beer anchovies mug paint basement bodies saxaphone fuck savings holdings utterance admonishment
freeman fern fez fermentation foley fantastic fabulous fricassee fenestration froude freud feet fart fiji frink falmouth penis
croon raccoon racketeer monsoon sooners husk preparatory hemorrhoid allometric viscoelastic frontier pretense privations libations masturbation dessication
abracadabra boundless cacophony deciduous effervescent futile gargantuan hermetically indigo jerusalem kringle lozenge megan nanotechnology octopus pluralistic quagmire redundancy stalin totalitarianism uppity vulva wombat xylum
Your search - puma olfactory seakeeping reductant recalcitrant rectilinear deliverance twinkie - did not match any documents.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Thoughts
1) Watching movies with sex scenes while sitting next to elderly male strangers on a bus is awkward.
2) Despite making it from NYC to Bethesda in 3.5 hours while the bus driver yakked away on her cell phone (not hands-free, either), I didn't fear for my life at all. Although, she did talk louder than the movie we were watching.
3) Skunk Nut and I realized that the Important Daily Conference Call at three o'clock is a GREAT time to goof off, since Boss, Boss Jr., and their bosses all have to participate. Therefore, we're guaranteed to be unsupervised for at least half an hour. Today he threw food at me and I tried to catch it in my mouth (goldfish work much better than pretzel sticks). Yesterday we threw a squishy ball from some vendor at the wall between us and TweedleDee and TweedleDum.
4) When we get our new office mate at the end of the week, we're going to have to start behaving. :(
Quote of the Week: "I'm not down with squeezing them and sucking the heads." - Boss, on eating crawdads.
2) Despite making it from NYC to Bethesda in 3.5 hours while the bus driver yakked away on her cell phone (not hands-free, either), I didn't fear for my life at all. Although, she did talk louder than the movie we were watching.
3) Skunk Nut and I realized that the Important Daily Conference Call at three o'clock is a GREAT time to goof off, since Boss, Boss Jr., and their bosses all have to participate. Therefore, we're guaranteed to be unsupervised for at least half an hour. Today he threw food at me and I tried to catch it in my mouth (goldfish work much better than pretzel sticks). Yesterday we threw a squishy ball from some vendor at the wall between us and TweedleDee and TweedleDum.
4) When we get our new office mate at the end of the week, we're going to have to start behaving. :(
Quote of the Week: "I'm not down with squeezing them and sucking the heads." - Boss, on eating crawdads.
Monday, February 5, 2007
Autobiography Forward
MRod The Former Roommate has graciously begun writing the forward to my book I promised would be his.
"There are some people that you will never be able to forget, and if you're as lucky as I am, it's because their stories wake you up in the middle of the night in fits of furious laughter about stories involving "facial rug burn caused by a goatee" and stories that begin with the words "...so I totally didn't mean for this to happen, but..."
He also suggested that my book be titled, Oh God! I swear it's not my fault!
Hahahaha. I wish I had a dollar for every time he heard me utter one of those phrases in the four short months we lived together. I bet HE wishes he had a dollar for every time, too. ;)
"There are some people that you will never be able to forget, and if you're as lucky as I am, it's because their stories wake you up in the middle of the night in fits of furious laughter about stories involving "facial rug burn caused by a goatee" and stories that begin with the words "...so I totally didn't mean for this to happen, but..."
He also suggested that my book be titled, Oh God! I swear it's not my fault!
Hahahaha. I wish I had a dollar for every time he heard me utter one of those phrases in the four short months we lived together. I bet HE wishes he had a dollar for every time, too. ;)
yap yap yap
Setting: my office, last week.
Characters: Enjanerd, Boss, Boss Jr., Skunk Nut, and by default, me.
Background: Everyone but me is discussing whether or not Skunk Nut needs to participate on the Important Daily Conference Call that afternoon.
Boss: Well, it's not a bad idea. You could just come with us at 3 and sit through it.
Boss Jr: But it'll last forever, and he doesn't need to sit through very much of it.
Boss: True. You could just dial in from your desk, if you want. If you use headphones because it's sensitive. (Read: I can't hear any of this. I had gotten kicked out of said meeting the day before)
Boss Jr: That's a good idea. He can sit at his desk and work that way.
Boss: Yeah. Well, as long as he doesn't mind people yapping away all afternoon.
Boss Jr: What? He sits next to Nutmeg!
Characters: Enjanerd, Boss, Boss Jr., Skunk Nut, and by default, me.
Background: Everyone but me is discussing whether or not Skunk Nut needs to participate on the Important Daily Conference Call that afternoon.
Boss: Well, it's not a bad idea. You could just come with us at 3 and sit through it.
Boss Jr: But it'll last forever, and he doesn't need to sit through very much of it.
Boss: True. You could just dial in from your desk, if you want. If you use headphones because it's sensitive. (Read: I can't hear any of this. I had gotten kicked out of said meeting the day before)
Boss Jr: That's a good idea. He can sit at his desk and work that way.
Boss: Yeah. Well, as long as he doesn't mind people yapping away all afternoon.
Boss Jr: What? He sits next to Nutmeg!
Monday, January 29, 2007
Now with pictures!
I enabled comments. Now you can make fun of me on my blog.
Also, picture time!
The potato from yesterday. Oops.
Also, the person who described me as a "girly-girl" doesn't actually believe it. I don't know if I'm relieved or disappointed. ;)
Also, picture time!
The potato from yesterday. Oops.
Also, the person who described me as a "girly-girl" doesn't actually believe it. I don't know if I'm relieved or disappointed. ;)
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Potatoes
Dear Self,
Blindly trusting your microwave autocook settings is not always (or usually, for that matter) a good idea. Making excuses for the absurd cook times by telling yourself things like, "Oh, maybe Autocook has set a lower power level" or "Well, I don't want an undercooked potato" is a silly idea, especially when the kitchen starts to smell like burning and fills with smoke. Maybe if you had done it yourself, or been more alert and stopped the microwave earlier, your apartment would not smell like it was blowtorched, and the potato that looks like it reentered the atmostphere after orbiting the earth would not be sitting in the sink on a burn-stained plate. That's all.
Love,
Nutmeg
Blindly trusting your microwave autocook settings is not always (or usually, for that matter) a good idea. Making excuses for the absurd cook times by telling yourself things like, "Oh, maybe Autocook has set a lower power level" or "Well, I don't want an undercooked potato" is a silly idea, especially when the kitchen starts to smell like burning and fills with smoke. Maybe if you had done it yourself, or been more alert and stopped the microwave earlier, your apartment would not smell like it was blowtorched, and the potato that looks like it reentered the atmostphere after orbiting the earth would not be sitting in the sink on a burn-stained plate. That's all.
Love,
Nutmeg
Thursday, January 25, 2007
it wasn't me.....this time
So the other night around 7:30, I was still at work trying to finish up a report. I heard a commotion down the hall, and soon Boss Jr. sticks his head in my office. Behind him is an enormous cop, probably 6'5" and with the sterotypical flat-top cop haircut.
Boss Jr: Hey, did you call 911?
Me: What? No....
Boss Jr: Did you accidentally call 911, while trying to call Australia?
Me: No! Why?
Boss Jr: Well, someone called 911 from a company phone, and he has to check it out, and calling 911 is easy to do while dialing 9-0-1-1 to get an outside line to Australia.
Me: Ohhh......no. It wasn't me. I've never called Australia.
Cop (while pointing his finger and pretending to be intimidating/angry): ARE you SURE?!?!?!
Then they left.
It was exciting.
Also that evening, I got an email from someone in the Australia office answering some questions I asked about a report he did. The opening to his email?
"Hi Captnutmeg,
It is great to write & read with you about this subject."
Is that an Australian thing? Or is he just weird?
Boss Jr: Hey, did you call 911?
Me: What? No....
Boss Jr: Did you accidentally call 911, while trying to call Australia?
Me: No! Why?
Boss Jr: Well, someone called 911 from a company phone, and he has to check it out, and calling 911 is easy to do while dialing 9-0-1-1 to get an outside line to Australia.
Me: Ohhh......no. It wasn't me. I've never called Australia.
Cop (while pointing his finger and pretending to be intimidating/angry): ARE you SURE?!?!?!
Then they left.
It was exciting.
Also that evening, I got an email from someone in the Australia office answering some questions I asked about a report he did. The opening to his email?
"Hi Captnutmeg,
It is great to write & read with you about this subject."
Is that an Australian thing? Or is he just weird?
Monday, January 15, 2007
My name is Jack Bauer...
the last few days have been full of the kinds of events that are why I got a blog to begin with.
where to even start?
1) when you are early-mid twenties, female, and wandering around the Surface Navy Association expo, EVERY exhibitor wants to talk to you, and give you free stuff, and invite you back later in the evening for free beer.
2) Shit went down at work. I still have a job. Part of me is disappointed, because I want to move to California.
3) My best friend from elementary school, Jonathan, came to visit this weekend. It was freaking awesome, and we hung out with our other friend Ochuko and his girlfriend and reminisced while drinking and watching football. It's kinda weird to sit around throwing back beers with people who have known you since you had snacktime every afternoon and played kickball every day at lunch. Kinda weird, but big on the warm-fuzzy-feelings. :)
4) I just started watching 24. It stresses me out, and pisses me off. Jack Bauer has exactly 45 minutes to convince me that the rest of this season is worth my time and the resulting cardiac stress/years off my life this will cause me. How can he go from prisoner to superhero to someplace else to surviving multiple explosions/life threatening situations/escaping from the bad guys how many times.....in three hours?! How did he shower/shave/change clothes/get reacclimated to civilization/be debriefed/rebriefed and off to save the world in FIFTEEN MINUTES?! And how do I know that I'm going to end up watching this again next week?
5) My office is full of idiots who can't figure out how a door that unlocks automatically when you trip the motion sensor works. Apparently that's a very difficult concept for some people. At least it's entertaining for the rest of us.
6) I'm going to Annapolis tomorrow afternoon for the SNAME section meeting, and to see the Naval Academy's senior design projects. Basically it's a way to get a catered dinner while feeling bad about my own pathetic attempt at a design project and having an excuse to stare at young navy men in uniform all at the same time. Or, as Dan put it, "troll for midshipman ass." :-P
7) Saturday I discovered I live 300 feet away from the guy who, a year ago in Michigan, I broke up with in order to be with the one I now live 3,000 miles away from. Now here we are, in Washington DC, sharing an apartment complex. The irony is beyond comprehension.
At least my autobiography won't be boring.
where to even start?
1) when you are early-mid twenties, female, and wandering around the Surface Navy Association expo, EVERY exhibitor wants to talk to you, and give you free stuff, and invite you back later in the evening for free beer.
2) Shit went down at work. I still have a job. Part of me is disappointed, because I want to move to California.
3) My best friend from elementary school, Jonathan, came to visit this weekend. It was freaking awesome, and we hung out with our other friend Ochuko and his girlfriend and reminisced while drinking and watching football. It's kinda weird to sit around throwing back beers with people who have known you since you had snacktime every afternoon and played kickball every day at lunch. Kinda weird, but big on the warm-fuzzy-feelings. :)
4) I just started watching 24. It stresses me out, and pisses me off. Jack Bauer has exactly 45 minutes to convince me that the rest of this season is worth my time and the resulting cardiac stress/years off my life this will cause me. How can he go from prisoner to superhero to someplace else to surviving multiple explosions/life threatening situations/escaping from the bad guys how many times.....in three hours?! How did he shower/shave/change clothes/get reacclimated to civilization/be debriefed/rebriefed and off to save the world in FIFTEEN MINUTES?! And how do I know that I'm going to end up watching this again next week?
5) My office is full of idiots who can't figure out how a door that unlocks automatically when you trip the motion sensor works. Apparently that's a very difficult concept for some people. At least it's entertaining for the rest of us.
6) I'm going to Annapolis tomorrow afternoon for the SNAME section meeting, and to see the Naval Academy's senior design projects. Basically it's a way to get a catered dinner while feeling bad about my own pathetic attempt at a design project and having an excuse to stare at young navy men in uniform all at the same time. Or, as Dan put it, "troll for midshipman ass." :-P
7) Saturday I discovered I live 300 feet away from the guy who, a year ago in Michigan, I broke up with in order to be with the one I now live 3,000 miles away from. Now here we are, in Washington DC, sharing an apartment complex. The irony is beyond comprehension.
At least my autobiography won't be boring.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
girlyness
I snuck out of work a couple hours early to go to the spa today with Enjanerd and Cheesehead. This is funny because we are the three least girly people....ever....and would have had no idea these services even existed were it not for those handy promotional dealies we fell for. So far, the two prepaid services (massage and facial) I've shown up for have been met with disbelief that I don't plan my life around regular appointments for these things, and do I know how much more healthy/happy/enriched my life would be if I considered them regularly? Eh.
At least I didn't get asked if I'd been taking snips out of my hair with a pair of scissors, like Cheesehead did today during her haircut. Ouch.
Ooooh!!! My Christmas present from Richford finally arrived. :) He bought me a slightly shorter chain for the pendant he got me for Valentine's Day last year, because the one that came with it was a little too long and he didn't like it. But the right length wasn't a stock length, so he had to buy a longer chain + service plan for the free repair/shortening, and would we be able to come back to the mall to pick it up in a few days?
Well, the mall we bought it from is in Mishawaka, IN. We explained to the nice saleslady that neither of us actually live in Indiana. The answer to "Oh, well, where are you from?" caught her even more off guard, when she discovered the reason we were in Indiana to begin with was because it's halfway-ish between my parents in Michigan and his in Chicago, but I actually live in Virginia and he lives in California. She volunteered to ship it.
It arrived today as a FedEx Priority Overnight delivery, in a Medium Box. Medium Boxes are designed for large documents and binders. It was difficult to open and took several minutes and a knife. Inside the Medium Box was lots of paper and a Small Box, still large enough to hold a 1 1/2" binder. Stuffed in there was the actually jewelry box with.....a 17" box chain inside.
Not complaining, though. :)
At least I didn't get asked if I'd been taking snips out of my hair with a pair of scissors, like Cheesehead did today during her haircut. Ouch.
Ooooh!!! My Christmas present from Richford finally arrived. :) He bought me a slightly shorter chain for the pendant he got me for Valentine's Day last year, because the one that came with it was a little too long and he didn't like it. But the right length wasn't a stock length, so he had to buy a longer chain + service plan for the free repair/shortening, and would we be able to come back to the mall to pick it up in a few days?
Well, the mall we bought it from is in Mishawaka, IN. We explained to the nice saleslady that neither of us actually live in Indiana. The answer to "Oh, well, where are you from?" caught her even more off guard, when she discovered the reason we were in Indiana to begin with was because it's halfway-ish between my parents in Michigan and his in Chicago, but I actually live in Virginia and he lives in California. She volunteered to ship it.
It arrived today as a FedEx Priority Overnight delivery, in a Medium Box. Medium Boxes are designed for large documents and binders. It was difficult to open and took several minutes and a knife. Inside the Medium Box was lots of paper and a Small Box, still large enough to hold a 1 1/2" binder. Stuffed in there was the actually jewelry box with.....a 17" box chain inside.
Not complaining, though. :)
Monday, January 8, 2007
Kinda squirrely..
I had a conversation with the Boss today about all the dead squirrels in his attic, and the poison he gives them that prevents them from absorbing any water so they shrivel up until they die.
I didn't think it was possible for anyone to hate squirrels as much as my dad does. I'm glad I'm learning so much at my job.
I didn't think it was possible for anyone to hate squirrels as much as my dad does. I'm glad I'm learning so much at my job.
Sunday, January 7, 2007
Hello, World
I have finally taken Enjanerd's advice and started a blog. Someday, when I get around to my novel, this will serve to remind me of all the ridiculous things that happen to me/crazy people I know/stupid things I do. In the meantime, this is just an excuse to come up with nicknames for everyone so I don't get sued/fired/etc. Thanks to Enjanerd and an office full of nutjobs whose everyday actions warrant nicknames, I'm pretty far along in that regard.
The title comes from one of my friends from WHOI. After over a year of conversations consisting almost entirely of "how drunk were you last weekend?" and "I'm going skiing someplace awesome so you should be jealous!" I listed him as a reference for my security clearance.
He sent me this email a couple months ago:
"BTW -- did you get your clearance? No one called me. . . I made up this great story too -- filled with intrigue, passion, danger, tequila. . . You were going to be painted an unwilling super-heroine, caught between the man she loves and the country she's sworn to protect, dancing her way toward catastrophe."
And I wonder why my interim clearance was denied.
The title comes from one of my friends from WHOI. After over a year of conversations consisting almost entirely of "how drunk were you last weekend?" and "I'm going skiing someplace awesome so you should be jealous!" I listed him as a reference for my security clearance.
He sent me this email a couple months ago:
"BTW -- did you get your clearance? No one called me. . . I made up this great story too -- filled with intrigue, passion, danger, tequila. . . You were going to be painted an unwilling super-heroine, caught between the man she loves and the country she's sworn to protect, dancing her way toward catastrophe."
And I wonder why my interim clearance was denied.
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